Need To Vent

First I need to vent on a few subjects so bear with me and please understand if this gets to be all over the place.

My first complaint is Jessica Simpson. I'm so tired of hearing about her weight. She looks fine. Now don't get me wrong I don't personally like her I just get tired of the fact that if a staar gains a pound they are considered to be overweight. Not female can be pin thin like the supermodels who are undernourished, or big stars. This sends a bad message to all girls that if they aren't thin then they are ugly. That is bull, I can say this because I was anorexic when I was younger. and all it did was screw up health. The media needs to get over it and let the big stars be.

Next, I feel that no politicion, actor/actress or athelete deserves a millions dollars per movie, game or whatever they think they need it for. It makes me angry because middle class and lower suffer all the time especially now, and they all think they are above all of us.

Finally , I have had so many medication changes and health issues that I feel like I fail with all my family and friends. No matter what I do I feel alone. and this isn't just my depression talking. My family thinks I don't love them, and I do just trying to get myself back to a coping stage where I don't freak out. I went practically 2 weeks without contacting my friends and none of them noticed at all. I want to let my guard down but when I do I get hurt and / or scared so I don't. I have put our family in such a bind that I don't see much of a way out I know deep down there is but I'm having a hard time seeing it. I pray and pray for an anwser and I don't see what it is. How can I give my love to my family when I don't like myself or really know who I am anymore? I'm tired of the emotional rollercoaster and of this bad luck. I'm tired of being told I don't think rationally or logically, and I'm tired of being ignored by what I call true friends.

I'm also going to say I think facebook needs to be shut down. Granted I made a huge mistake on there but when a local 13 year old gets raped here locally by an 18 year old something needs to be done. That site isn't regulated enough. I regret ever having been on there and I will never go back. I hate seeing my friends get sucked in like they are. I'm losing friends locally because of the site because they are more interested in talking to the guys on there that they meet than me. Maybe I'm just angry at myself for being so naive on there but on the computer you can be someone totally different from who you are and you don't know who you are really talking too. It has been proven over and over again with other sites as well as Facebook. A 40 year old child molestor can play like he or she is a 14 year old and get by with it to get mote victims, or an adult could meet someone else from online and think they are meeting a male for example when that person is really a female, or meet someone who may be a murderer. People need to be cautious no matter the site., but from my experience Facebook is the least regulated and needs to get control of its site. (this isn't about any of my blogger friends)

Sorry about the venting but I guess I needed to complain. I've kept my mouth shut long enough on issues I feel strongly about.

update on my health

Just to update you all I am feeling a little better. The doctor thinks I inherited something from my mom and hopefully a change in diet can regulate it out. My blood pressure finally went back to normal and my other tests were fine. I do have to have surgery on my neck at some point for a lump to be removed but it's benign and not growing. It seems that I inhereited my mom's immune system which sucks. Oh well, hopefully this diet change will help so I don't need the meds. (I'm not diabetic, that test was normal too but I'll watch it anyway it runs in the family).