Dedicated to My Mom Part 4

Dedicated to My Mother

Part 4: The Finale

I'm going to start this one on as positive a note I can. I remember that mom & I would get into music wars. I didn't like her country music and she wasn't to crazy about my music and she would turn hers up to hear over mine and I would do the same, then we would compromise and listen to her oldies music so we would quit driving the neighbors nuts.

When I turned 16, she sent me 4 roses to school on my birthday. A white rose, a yellow rose, a pink rose and a yellow rose. On the card she had wrote that each of the roses represented 4 years of my life up to age 16. My junior year in High school she got my boyfriend (now my hubby) and 2 of my other friends to keep me distracted and to make sure I didn't leave the cafeteria because she sent a Gorilla to school with a rose and song for my birthday. (I was so embarrassed).

When I turned 18 she remarried my dad on my birthday. She asked me to stand up with her and I did against my better judgement. She truly thought that I wanted them back together when I didn't. I told I would but I didn't agree with it. She asked me why and I told her because when you two re together I get the brunt end of it when you fight. 6 months later I told her I told you so. They were divorced within the year.

Mom would get all excited when I had my high school dances, I think she was more excited than I was and during this time I'm trying to be a normal teenager why she was fighting with dad all the time.

I became anorexic for 2 years because of her. Not realizing it she would always say I was skinner than that at your age. Well eventually I did get skinner. In college I finally snapped out of it, but it took me forever to get her to understand. I had to tell her over and over again that because of that statement I decided to get skinnier and that it briefly put her attention on me and not my dad.
The pictures of me is at my worst with the anorexia. She did finally try to tell me that she never meant for me to take that statement the way I did. She did finally apologize years later.

I finally moved out and got married and got pregnant. My mom and I wasn't talking at the time because I found out she had taken my credit cards and maxed them out. (grandma had them locked up in a safe till I paid them off, mom knew the combination) and she basically ruined my credit. Mom wasn't at my wedding (dad was) and that hurt her but I was so pissed at what she did to me I didn't care at the time. When I got pregnant with my son after I had him she kept making comments about me losing the weight I gained with him and my mother-in-law got pissed. For the longest time I believe she thought my family was hers in the sense of my hubby hers, my son hers etc.. , she was trying to relive her life through me. Which led to a lot of fights.

I ended up shielding my son from her and we would go 1 to 2 years at a time not talking and her sending me letters saying that she hated me , I would be sorry for what I did to her, she is no longer my mother, and she was going to kill herself. I would just send the cops to her house. She always liked to make the threats and I got immune to them and told her I'm done with her pity parties and I'm not going to let her hurt my son like she did me.

Needless to say I finally got pregnant with my daughter and we finally started talking again. We worked out a lot of things but not all. She was at the hospital for both of my kids' birth. She had told me once during this time that I helped her grow up by being stronger than her and standing up to her and thanked me for doing that. She was there at times I would need her at the end. When sis got a fever and had to stay in the hospital overnight she stayed with me. every time I had to go to Indianapolis to Riley Hospital with my son would go. We really seemed to have finally met at the middle to get along.

This picture is the last picture taken of her. Taken Oct. 14, 2004. The day I had my daughter.

On February 17, 2005 I got a call from my Uncle Max (her brother) asking if I had talked to her. Then another family friend called and asked the same thing. I called her house to check on her and got no answer. We had went bowling to practice for our league and still hadn't heard anything back from her (which was unusual). I left my hubby and daughter at home and my son went with me to her house to check on her. We finally got someone to let us in (an apt complex) and we had to get maintenance to let us in her apartment. I was hoping for a diabetic coma at the least but I found her dead I knew as soon as I touched her body by how stiff and cold she was. (She was only 53). Her neighbors kept Gage in the hall and I called 911 to report it and the maintenance guy had to finish the call for me. I called Randy and both of us called others to tell them and after all of the excitement and paperwork I finally went home. Dad following me. He was there as soon as we got a hold of him. She had to have an autopsy done and it took forever to get the results and I had never had to deal with something so hard in my life. Thank God for my family and my friends. Without everyone supporting me I never would have made it. We finally had her services and got rid of her ashes like she asked. We finally got the autopsy report back and it was labeled an accidental overdose, along with 4 other contributing factors. Her heart was extremely bad and so was her thyroid and water on the lungs.

I know deep down that she is finally free and happy and that she isn't hurting anymore and I'm so glad for her, but that doesn't stop the pain or the nightmares of seeing her in my sleep dead.

This is the hardest thing I will ever truly write minus the fact that 1 year and 7 1/2 months later I found my dad dead in his sleep also. I do however feel that this is helping and thank you all for going down memory lane with me.

GOD SPEED MOM & DAD I LOVE & MISS YOU VERY MUCH!!!!

Dedicated to My Mother Part 3

Dedicated to My Mom

Part 3: Adult Years

Now on to my mother's adult years, I am going to have to put her adult years in 2 part's, so my full dedication will be four parts total, but these will be the most intense for me to write about.

As before I will start out with questions & anwsers from her then I will go into what my memories. Here we go:

Q.) What can you tell me about your courtship & dating? How did you meet? (This is about my dad)

A.) "I met your dad Chuck through my brother Max and his wife Mary Margaret who was Chuck's sister."

Q.) What are your hobbie's?

A.) " Reading, computer, crafts, T.V., and listening to Music."

Q.) Do you have a political affliation? Did you ever work on the polls?

A.) " Vote for both political parties. Worked on polls as inspector, clerk, judge, sheriff."

Q.) What are your favorite recipes?

A.) " Sweet Potato Casserole, Waldorf salad, Braunsweiger ball, Chicken cheese ball and beef cheese ball, noodles and dressing."

Q.) What are your favorite family stories?

A.) " Stories with my daughter only best in my life."

Here's what I remember. On September 1, 1972 my mother and father got married. Then on October 16,1973 I was born against the wishes of my grandmother. My father had 3 other kids from a previous marriage and their mother had custody of them, but they would stay with us off & on. I was raised pretty much an only child. Mom told me that she was sick the whole pregnancy with me and that I kept her in labor for 27 hours. They ended up naming me Michelle Dawn. Other names she had thought of for me was Misty Dawn, Melissa Michelle, and Annette Jeanette. If i would have been a boy I would have been named after my dad Charles Albert Jr.

I guess at around 6 to 8 monthes of age I had to be hospitalized for dehydration and a partially callapsed lung. Mom told me they had me hooked up on IV's and that she used to sneak me watermelon juice in my bottles. She could never breast feed me because she got milk fever. After a couple of days I was released.

To advance a few years now, I finally started school and was really shy. Mom got involved the PTA (Parent Teacher Association), she got me into bowling (dad was my coach sometimes), She had me try out softball ( I quit) and she got me into Girl Scouts. She eventually became my leader.

I remember mom and da fighting a lot growing up. She would accuse my dad of cheating all the time(eventually he did), nag him all the time, She would control his and her paychecks, she worked as a housekeeper in a nursing home, hospital and in a motel, eventually she ran errands for the elderly or just sat with them. She would cook big suppers and even bigger meals on the holidays. She mostly drank tea, and loved to put up the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving. She tried so hard to teach me how to cook but I wouldn't listen to her till after I got married. She would overprotect me spoil me, and she used me as a paun against dad wihen they got a divorce.


She would drag me out in the middle of the night to hunt him down, threaten him, get ina depressed state and have me mix alcholic drinks for her. She threatened suicide all the time. I remember trying to physically stop her one time by throwing all of her pills outside in the yard during a thunderstorm. She fought me for the pills and practically broke my hand to get them. She would get vindictive, hateful, and psycho. She eventually went on antidepressants and other medications. It never seemed to help she could never let go of her past and always pushed people away.

She had a hysterectoromy at the age of 29 due to cancer, lost of all her teeth,and wore dentures, I believe she also had her gall bladder removed.

I remember one time I got caught cussing out a bully at school and I got caught. The school called home and told mom, by the time I got home she was mad. For my punishment she washed my mouth out with Dawn dishsoap.

Another time I was in Upward Bound( a program that helps with school and college), I got to stay on campus for six weeks and one day with one of her friends she was on her way home from a court appeareance against dad and she drove by the dorms I stayed in and seen me smoking a cigarette. (This was the summer between my 9th and 10th grade years). Anyway she parked the car and came barraling at me screaming at the top of her lungs. She had me take her to the people over me at the campus and told them she was taking me home and they were no good for nothing pieces of shit. I took off and headed to my room and on the way I puched a door frame because I had a feeling that she was going to hit me and I would want to hit her back. She followed me to the dorm room still screaming at the top of her lungs. Next thing I know I'm on the bed in the fetal postion blocking hits to my head. Her friend just sat there and watched. Mom ended up puching me 4 times. once in the back of my head and 3 more times down my spine. Someone called for the campus police and they separted us, she was escorted off of campus and I was taken to the campus infimary. I was ok just shaken up. Child protective services got involved and made us go see a psychiatrist together before they would let me go home after the 6 weeks were up. We worked out some of the problems but we were never the same again.

I'm going to stop here for now and finish it up in part 4. Thank you again for reading.

To Be Continued.....